Our Cabin

Did I mention we've got a suite? It's the result of Janet playing poker with P&O and it's very posh and comes with a built in Butler. Apparently he's there to attend to our every need although, so far, we haven't really pushed that particular envelope past breakfast in bed and afternoon canapés.

I'll give you a guided tour - The entrance hall leads to the bedroom and sitting area which has two windows which on a cruise ship is like having a couple of turrets on your house. The bed is large enough for a game of hide and seek and behind it is one of those full height, full width, “don't even think about it mirrors” as Janet calls them. Off the hall there is a small kitchen/butlers pantry and a bathroom. The suite has all the features you might expect and a few you never knew you needed like a rack of glossy magazines to help you choose your next car or orangery. There is even a large wooden box of specialist tea bags in the pantry. Open the box and they're all laid out in little compartments like an exotic butterfly collection. We've also got a trouser press (in case you can't find the Butler) and a very expensive Bose radio (to show that however much you pay you can't get a decent radio signal on a cruise ship).

The bathroom has a full sized bath, a separate shower and twin basins. I've never understood the attraction of twin basins. They should never be used as “his” and “hers” unless the users are both under 30 and have easy access to marriage guidance counselling. Using them for “Wash” and “Rinse” or “Hands” and “Feet” signifies an obsessive personal disorder and using the spare one to soak your underwear overnight lowers the tone that they are intended to create.

The bath has a jacuzzi which is something to be wary about particularly on a ship. Pressing an electrical switch whilst sitting in a bath of water, in a metal box which is sitting in a lot more water, is a concern to anyone who has spent years dealing with electrical contractors. When I tentatively pressed this switch the sound it produced was like a space shuttle preparing for lift off. The sensation it produced was, I imagine, rather like connecting a fire hose to a bidet. After a few eye watering baths, I found a knob that controls the pressure . Turning it down has now made the jacuzzi a more enjoyable experience in an “I really wouldn't pay money for one of these” sort of way.

The suite is at the back of the ship and its best feature is the balcony which looks out over the wake and also wraps round the side. The balcony has a table with half dozen chairs and a couple of loungers but there's plenty of space for other things like a couple of cricket nets or a small running track. Obviously it would be better if the weather improved so we could use it more often but, never mind, you can't have everything.

Dave C